In my last blog I talked about the practice of mindfulness, specifically around meal times. By eating mindfully you can rediscover your enjoyment of food. And connect with your friends and loved ones without distraction.
Mindfulness is not only being “present” though. Its also purposely and non-judgmentally examining what’s happening in your world at that present moment. And to frame it up in a way that benefits you, that helps you resolve your negative thoughts.
Ask "How?" or "What?"...not "Why?"
Living mindfully has equipped me with the skill to frame situations in a beneficial way. To ask myself the right questions about any given situation.
For example, many years ago I had an issue which was driving me mad. I simply couldn’t get on with a colleague. I couldn’t figure out why we clashed, why was he “that way”. But reframing that “why” question resolved the problem. Instead of asking “why”, and imagining endless reasons, I asked myself “how” and “what” questions… “How am I going to tackle this?” and “What am I going to do about it?”
That led to a plan. It was as simple as asking him “How do you think our working relationship is going?”, which led to the first real conversation we’d ever had. We both realized we’d misunderstood each other over a simple matter.
In our experience, people who’ve come to us for help have tried so many times to lose weight or to improve their Type 2 diabetes symptoms. They’ve tried “everything”. They often ask one fundamental question. “Why do I keep doing this to myself?”
One of our first actions is to move the thinking, from “Why” to “How or “What”. “How can I make this meal more sustaining”. “What would a healthy, satisfying meal look like, for me”.
By switching from “why” to “how“ and “what” questions we can move from negative to positive, from inaction to action, where positive strategies to deal with a negative issue can emerge.
As a life-coach, and with 20 years EFK experience, I’ve found that reframing a “why” into a “how” or “what” is the path to solving many of our clients’ problems.
Wow, it seems such a small thing but it can make such a big difference!